Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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