I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
