Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
