Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
