how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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