She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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