Where is the hickey?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
