At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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