She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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