I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
