Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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