We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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