Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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