I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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