If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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