you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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