Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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