Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They took my balls.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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