so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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