Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
