Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize