I wish my penis had an off switch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
