ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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