I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
