Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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