it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
