I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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