Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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