no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize