I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
