After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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