hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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