great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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