Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
