Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
