margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
