Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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