Where is the hickey?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
