It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
