My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
