is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I just shit out all my problems.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
