Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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