We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I faked an abortion last night.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
