Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
