if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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