Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
