Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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