it was like his penis was on wheels.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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