Apparently you make a good broom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
