check it out our google latitudes are spooning
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
