you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
