I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
