i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
