which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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