And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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