when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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